There is something romantic in being the hero of a great story. Despite all reoccurring conflict, the strongest and most courageous figures always find a way to endure. We often call this heroic figure the protagonist, the main character of the story.

However, the protagonist is made for the STORY; not for reality itself. For whatever  reason we are particularly attracted to being the protagonist in real life, to our own story. Don’t lie, you’ve had that moment: when the “anthem” plays in the headphones, when the sun hits at the right angle, when looking in the mirror that heroic vision of yourself reflects back. You are a dreamer at the core.

More simply, you’ve been Tom in “500 Days of Summer” at least once.

While that’s sincerely harmless for a moment, there are many who are unwilling to discern this visual from reality. While “main character syndrome” is very much a real condition, most of us have the ability to escape our own protagonist idealization. We just need to lean into some perspective.

An amazing tale of Alexander the Great, as a young king sought wisdom to joint with his evergrowing authority. Thus, he attempted to persuade a wise philosopher to join alongside and teach him wisdom.  The philosopher, Diogenes, a stoic mannered man isolated himself from the social influences of the Greeks. Alexander, flexed his muscles of fortune and power to Diogenes and assured a wish of any kind would be granted to him.

Diogenes obliged, and wished for Alexander to move himself to the side, out of the sun; so that the light may not be blocked when he resumed his daily meditation.

Diogenes cut right through Alexander’s bullshit. Unconcerned by appeal, he brought the ego down to size. Even more fascinating, after this exchange Alexander famously remarked “But truly, if I were not Alexander, I wish I were Diogenes.”

So what does this tell us?

Even when we are inspired by things outside of us and are stricken with curiosity; it is easier to succumb to the comforts and luxuries before us. The pursuit for more. But we all have a choice.

Either we can exist as a story to be told, or a life to be lived.

Today, some people are in the midst of their dream life; and others are overcome with grief over the life they wish they had, or once had. Nonetheless, when we get outside and look at the world around us; we humbly realize that time does not stop for us nor our story. The world will continue to revolve no matter our accolade or agony.

We are all the same.

So commit to giving attention on being present, resist the pressure & glamour of the hero’s archetype, and certainly do not allow others to block out your light.

Our disappointments are some of the most daunting feelings to overcome. Because of this, I’ve attempted to investigate what causes disappointment to move in a downhill direction and tries to force us to respect its law rather than respect ourselves.

Time is an Entropic Experiment:

-The relationship between entropy (randomness) and time is derived from astrophysicist Arthur Eddington. He researched how universal evolution is impacted by the randomness of time and chance. Furthermore, this  led him to conceptualize how time is asymmetric. Simply put, when life increases in randomness, things get lopsided quickly. How we perceive this lopsidedness is often driven by two factors: memory and volition. Our memories create an expectation of the situation based on past experiences, and our volition will provide us with the energy to confront it. For this reason, the first law of directional disappointment is understanding that time is an entropic experiment. We can never predict what will happen to us, but we can always control how we respond. The influence of disappointment will attempt to blur this distinction to convince us that we “should’ve known better”. I once read that the common quality in US Presidents was that all of them (except Trump, sorry lol) were intellectually curious. They use their uncapped resources to gain knowledge, and therefore consider their executive actions to be experiments for better understanding. Shall be consider taking this same approach when looking in the direction our expectations are pointing?

Expectations Are Linear Projection:

-Coming back to Arthur Eddington’s research, he conceived that time moves in one direction. The “arrow of time” is a linear projection of what you may already know as “cause and effect”. In the context of this discussion, the second law of directional disappointment is expectations are linear projection. Expectations, at least in my experience, often will lead to disappointment because we mentally create idealistic projections of how our days and life will turn out. By nature we are rigid minded creatures from our conditioning. We are naive to this because our idealism of life is rooted in positive intent. We can plan accordingly, follow the steps to a T, be assertive; and yet still be filled with disappointment as our expectations move rigidly with the plan. Just as linear thinking, linear expectations will only ever result in copies of past product. If our expectations are not flexible and open to being pushed off the line, the pattern of disappointment will continue to repeat itself.

Reversal of Inspirational Flow:

-The concept of the “arrow of time” would become the foundation for the second law of thermodynamics. This physical law considers how heat converts “downhill”, unless a form of energy provides a reversal of flow. Inspiration can work similarly. When we are inspired, it can start off as the fire under our ass to act and produce; but as life’s challenges push us downhill our inspiration will become cold until disappointment freezes our spirit. The third law of directional disappointment is reversing inspiration to find a flow. Inspiration is worthless without not positive, but clear intention. In his book “Essentialism”, author Greg McKeown identifies that a pattern for lacking clarity of purpose stems from people not having essential intent. Intent can be intimidating when our inspiration hedges on the recognition from the world. For me, I’ve found that I’ve been constantly disappointed in life by empty words of from others speaking highly of me, to inevitably switch up their stance. McKeown provides an antidote for this and other types of disappointment saying “with no clear direction, people pursue the things that advance their own short term interests, with little awareness how their actions contribute to the long term mission”.

Whether it’s people, money, love, success, or even God; we must reject all those sources of inspiration UNTIL we can firmly direct our interests with intention for long term results .

This can potentially be done with flow.

Create your rhythm, be consistent, find the patterns in your chaos. So when disappointment inevitably comes back downhill; you will be able to reverse it.

In all, our disappointments can be used to our favor when we understand the laws on which it moves. The next time disappointment attacks your capacity, recount these laws and investigate the cause in which has directed your disappointments. We catastrophically dwell on our minute feelings of disappointments effects, that we often overlook understanding what caused it. When our goals are too reachable, disappoint will always dangle above us like forbidden fruit. When our goals are too wild; the natural causes of insecurity, doubt, and bitterness will allow disappointment the opportunity to push our inspiration to lowly levels. Often laws are expected to be respected, but not in this case. Acknowledgment the laws, but respect yourself.

Let me preface all this by saying, these forthcoming words will be nothing but unpopular opinion. That’s exactly why they’re being wrote. Our modern society has fetishized the longing of respect.

For the respect of our status, our accolades, our opinions, our struggles. We value respect as a social currency, and because of that some of us are impoverished as fuck.

Interestingly, all of that is perfectly fine; once you realize how to make respect overrated.

David Goggins, makes a profound observation in his new book “Never Finished” that people will use the weaponization of disrespect because they’ve quietly come to grip they’re not worth a damn. Respect will always hold its weight as long as the weapon of disrespect continues to coerce and bludgeon our psyche. How could this assault be suppressed? After all, we’re human and therefore susceptible to listening to others because we value connection. In an impulsive counteraction, some may assemble their own weapon of disrespect by ignoring that person who’s disrespected them. Some may even push as far to create a culture of silencing said disrespecter. Again, we’re all entitled to our choices, so that’s perfectly fine. But it certainly has not made respect (or in this case, it’s adversary of disrespect) overrated.

Where am I going with this?

This is how respect can be made overrated: SELF DEFINITION. The fear of defining ourself, by ourself, keeps us stagnant from elevating above life’s toxic waste. We have to trust our instincts, but that is not possible without refining our skills. So many of us have creative ideas that could move the needle within our sphere of influence, or even the world. We have the skills, but without the respect we settle to not trust our instinct. That’s the Matrix. Not government control, not cancel culture, not that hater talking behind your back. The Matrix is our agents of self doubt, making us prisoners in the war that determines self-definition.  Personal Consciousness can be a shitstorm.

On her new album, SZA has a song titled “Far” that laments her battle with self definition. As she continued to let other people define her, she ran further away from her true self until she could no longer “recognize herself”. This proves respect is overrated. As a global star within R&B, there’s no doubt that millions of fans respected her skills and persona. Yet, without self-definition, SZA’s trust in herself wavered and caused a prolonged delay in refining those skills to impact others (5 years worth). Fortunately for her, she made it out on the other side; but many will go their entire life valuing respect as their catalyst for action. We MUST know ourselves.

Let me say this. I never feel respected. Nobody truly listens to me, I’ve caught people in many lies, and I have no personal advocates.

Does that mean I sit on my hands and wait for divine intervention to earn respect? Hell no. I am great, I know myself, and I put in the work while nobody is watching.

And you can too. You just have to define yourself, and the costs it would require to maintain being yourself as you grow. Because of that, we have to sacrifice respect as a usable social currency. Well luckily, now you know how it’s overrated before it caused you spiritual bankruptcy.

How many times have you awakened in the morning with a feeling of dissatisfaction about the previous day? Some will say few, some will say many; but all who are truthful will have had those days.

In the our daily waking moments, we often establish a default setting that will determine the course of every succeeding second for that day.

This is why it is essential for each of us to conquer dawn.

There is a reason why dawn is so quiet, layered by tranquility and serendipity. Every dawn, you are presented the gift to be alone with the natural world. Before the socialized world cranks up the noise with its bullshit excuses, judgement, and calamity. We defeat the conception of time only when we work in the space where time presents no intrinsic value to the rest. This moment is our only guarantee that this day can be considered a victory. In “The Richest Man In Babylon” it is declared that you must position yourself to prosper before Opportunity arises, as she is a haughty goddess that does not give chance to the unprepared. This opportunity must be conquered by you, before chance arrives to pester you. If not, chance will snatch the opportunity and present it to someone willing for a challenge.

Have you ever truly considered why the following do what they do:

•Why do the Navy SEALS wake up at 4:30am just to train?

•Why do monks escape to their monastery before the sun?

•Why do Lions sleep up to 20 hours, yet wake up before any other animal in the habitat?

The answers are explicit. To ensure our day isn’t corrupted by chance; we must live by design and not by the default.

By this design, the SEAL can control the battleground, the monk can advance his enlightenment, and lion can maintain being king of the jungle.

The rationale for you conquering dawn could stem from a myriad of places. Whether it’s exercising, gardening, creating, or praying; but they all must be contingent on denying self-negotiation. If there’s space to negotiate, it will never be accepted. Steven Pressfield says it best in his book “Turning Pro”, that the sure sign of an amateur is they have a million plans, but they all start tomorrow.   You have a concrete wall of resistance that will psyche you the fuck out. Convincing it’s impossible to break through, but be assured that you have the power to bust open that wall whenever you choose.

Conquer dawn before the demons are graced by chance to congregate at their moment’s notice. You may be on your millionth plan, just make sure this time it starts today. Before the world wakes up to it.

On occasion, we are left alone with a persistent call to be better. Not better in a sense of more powerful, more liked, or more accomplished. Just be better, in relation to what is around you.

How do we discover what that better is? Perhaps we may by remembering those who were chosen to be better.

In the Old Testament, the two prophets who sought to be better in the most tumultuous times were Elijah and Elisha. Ironically, these two men were polar opposites in their personality when first meeting.

Elijah was colorful, Elisha was bland. Yet when Elisha was called by Elijah to emulate his work, he did not hesitate. They were different on the surface, but their souls were the same. This came to be when Elijah granted Elisha a final favor of any kind; and all Elisha requested was to “inherit a double portion of your spirit” (2 Kings 2:9). While this was a difficult, unexpected request; Elijah granted it because he trusted that Elisha would discover what it meant to be better in a world that was worsening. He saw something certain in Elisha’s future that others could not see at the time. Nonetheless, Elisha committed to replacing Elijah’s spirit despite the uncertainty; because the world needed his service just as equally.

To double Elijah’s spirit would be a near impossible task. It required doubled:

-Commitment

-Consistency

-Selflessness

-Empathy

-Attentiveness

Elijah was human, so he struggled, but he was born to bear this life. He was chosen.

Sometimes we may not feel we are worthy to be chosen, but like Elisha, when Better calls to us we must answer it. No matter our self-perception.

This moment birthed the idiom “Take Up The Mantle”.

Elisha stayed beside his friend to the very end. The companionship would be irreplaceable; but now Elisha had an opportunity to show how he was chosen to serve also, to be better in his own way. To honor, to believe, to continue the goodness that his friend seemingly worked effortlessly to present to the world. It would not be easy, but it would be worth it. Elisha had the conviction, but Elijah was the example that allowed him to follow through.

Kobe Bryant said it best: “There is power in understanding the journey of others to help create your own”.

The will to be better is the first step to creating a life worth living, and the second step is finding examples of what that life shall be. We then must extract the uniquest elements of their life that inspire us, and then commit to compounding its value in the way Elisha strived. Nothing more, nothing less. This is how we may preserve legacy, how we may remember those who were chosen by God to be better.

For me, Daniel Barnett was the Elijah to my Elisha. I struggle mightily to find the value in a volatile life, but I have an everlasting example of how I can still be better.

-To be more selfless, caring, and unapologetically myself.

-To rebuke allowing current circumstance to control me.

-To brighten the light of others when mine is at its dimmest.

-To hear out others, because we all have good ideas to share.

-To love unconditionally, because there’s always more we can give

-To keep the faith, because our world can’t afford to lose that too

Better. Forever.

November 23rd, today is my birthday. Commonly, a birthday is used as a symbol of celebration for enduring another year. Not to say I do not enjoy my yearly milestone of birth, but birth is always around us. The same can also be said for death, but we do not apply the same connotation for death as birth. Why is that? Maybe it is because we fear endings. Or perhaps because it is difficult to accept good things swift back and forth like seasonal weather. Before you continue reading, let me express a caveat; death is as beautiful as life (when meditated in the same space).

As I continue to expand my library of literature, an underlying theme I’ve began to comprehend is the concept of Memento Mori. Memento Mori is symbolic, it indicates that the only certainly of life (other than birth) is death.

When reading Marcus Aurelius, the father of ancient stoic philosophy; his reality was riddled with death. He never truly knew his father, his grandparents also passed when he was a child. His father figure, Antonious, died while he was preparing to become Emperor of Rome. Even more devastating, Marcus Aurelius experienced the death of over half his children during his lifetime. Eventually, Marcus Aurelius died in a wretched pandemic similar to today. To experience the Hero’s Journey, still to endure the same loss everyone will equally meet.

A similar arc can be explained with Job in the Bible. The wealthiest of wealthy, yet in the blink of eye lost everything. Job endured death in many facets; of his lifestyle, his wealth, his family, and nearly the death of himself caused by the pain of it all. He was used as Satan’s prop, in an attempt to show how when catastrophe shows up to our doorstep, we shatter.

Even in modern times, the COVID-19 pandemic has also demonstrated that death is sudden; and without preparation or accountability can become dangerously suffocating to a society.  Experts claimed that nothing was to be feared, that resources were becoming available and that the worst of times would soon recede. Yet, as of today, the death toll of COVID related deaths in 2021 has surpassed 2020; when there were less resources, certainty, and in actuality more to lose. Why is that?

Memento Mori is able to aid in each of these historical scenarios. The inevitability of death does not indicate we should relinquish our agency, let evil prove victorious, or allow the odds to dictate our hope. Instead, the mediation of death is freeing and opportunistic. Memento Mori allows for the individual to not obsess over the finitude of life or the fearfulness of loss. In reality we are only here for a short amount of time anyways, and what can happen to ANYBODY can happen to EVERYBODY. They say as you get older, a birthday become less valuable. I agree to an extent, the extent of which wrongfully divides life and death into separate categories of reflection.  Remember, life is going to continue to press forward as every birthday passes. My birthday is not any more “special” to celebrate than other days, all days should be considered a gift. However, it is valuable because it allows me the new opportunity to practice  mediating alongside Memento Mori. The time that passes belongs to death, but the infinite belongs to you.

In my notes for the week I have the question written down; “Do I have the capacity to carry my vision?”. I wrote this question after viewing a service by Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church in Oklahoma. The message was titled “The Value of Vision”, which I recommend all of you to view to fully grasp onto what I am about to write.

What is the difference between having a vision and having a dream? At first, I had a passive interpretation and believed they were just one in the same. After further examination, I’ve come to understand that a dream is simply an internal thought. Dreams are thoughts, images, and sensations that are forecasted in times of sleep or rest. This is where I finally understood how limiting a dream can be. Martin Luther King Jr. gave a speech about “I Have A Dream” for American society during the Civil Rights Movement. In actuality, MLK did not have a dream, he had a vision.

When you are able to differentiate your dreams from your vision, you will come to realize that a vision is way more valuable and significant than just having a dream.

• Dreams have time limits, they’re confined to the moments we are asleep and inactive. On the other hand, visions evolve from dreams when they are taken out of their comfort zone. Placed in an area of growth and activity, where they are not stimulated by sensation but by the season you are in.
• Dreams have noun characteristic. Induced by materials, people, and places. On the contrary, visions are a verb. Visions require us to announce our state, declare an action, to become something tomorrow that we are not today.
• Dreams typically need endorsement. We need money right now if we’re going to buy that car or designer item, we need thousands of Instagram followers if we’re going to attract people of a higher status, and we need letters of recommendation if we’re going to get accepted for that dream job or dream school.

Not to say any of those are bad, but if dreams come from sleep how can they achieve this?

Visions, now visions need no validation. They must be valid, which means to be authenticated by your passions and love for your life, but they require no validation nor endorsement from others.

Visions need opportunity. Dreams are fed by cravings, but visions cultivate from creativity and confidence within you.

In his message, Pastor Michael Todd challenges his listeners to visibility write down their vision for 2020. I am now challenging you to do the same. Do not let this moment slip away: find a paper & pen, write down your vision clearly, and place it in a spot where you read it at a glance every single day (Habakkuk 2:2).

You may not realize it immediately,  but the value in viewing your vision anew in this uncertain time will foster fulfillment in your life’s calling.

-Cagen

Whether you are a child, young adult, middle aged, or elderly— most of us are accustomed to our own tradition of Easter (Resurrection Sunday). Some would’ve attended church today in celebration, others would’ve had egg hunting and feasting with family and friends, and some may have just enjoyed a comfortable day. This year, things are slightly different, and some may say this Easter (Resurrection Sunday) is irregular.  We are all inside today, it feels irregular, and we are all adjusting our common celebration to comply with confusion.

Well, the good news is that the first Easter (Resurrection Sunday) had similar elements. There was no pestilence in the air, but there was pain. Both of our people were confused, uncertain, conflicted, and maybe even angry. Just as I look outside my bedroom window, both Sunday mornings have been closely similar too: dreary, bleak, cloudy, and empty. Now yeah, I know you know what happens next.. Women appeared to the tomb, it was rolled away, Jesus appeared to them and declared He has risen!

But stay with me, there’s more to this story.

In my Bible, John 20:19 (NLT) states:

“It was late Sunday evening, and the disciples, were gathered behind locked doors, because they were afraid of the Jewish authorities”.

Even on the day of man’s greatest triumph, the disciples were trapped inside as well. It was now uncommon for them to not be with their teacher, and they were overcome with fear being inside dealing with conflictions and confusion of recent events. The dysfunction of their world was defying the odds of the common, and winning. That’s where many of us are today.

This Easter (Resurrection Sunday) we are trapped. By now, it may have been noticed my consistent placement of Resurrection Sunday in parenthesis, commonly used as a mark off (trap) to give explanation to an afterthought. As this pandemic has overcome Easter Sunday with animosity, I am hopeful we do not let the Resurrection become a mere afterthought. Before resurrection was supposed to be Satan’s trap, his victory. Fortunately death did not trap Jesus, but He trapped death, His victory. (Steven Furtick did a sermon on this, its quite good).

The Resurrection of Jesus has three components:

• undoing of a past event
• uncertainty of a present reality
• unbelievable potential for future moments

Mark 16:12 (NLT) reminds us: “Afterward, Jesus appeared to them in a different form.”

In the coming days, months, and possibly years it may be difficult for us to accept any new regular. However, we have to remember even when Jesus was trapped, he rose again and did not appear the same to those who knew him from his past; but appeared in a new form to move the future forward.

I hope that this message may provide you with an irregular interpretation on a day we enjoy so commonly and regularly. Your plans today may be different this Easter than any of the past and the future, but the purpose of this day should be remembered the same.

-In his Grace, Cagen