Virtue of the Week: Compassion
When we think of compassion, it is typically assumed that giving condolences or being considerate when others are down is being compassionate. The Latin origin for the word compassion is to “suffer together”. In this current climate, compassion is a necessity while most of us are enduring are own version of suffer. While suffering together can drive community forward, it is not the only component in genuine compassion. Compassion is not merely a feeling, but rather an intentional action as well. Compassion isn’t an instant gratification like a social media share or physical pleasure, but compassion cultivates long term gratification and propels us towards stillness. A boost in our stillness can reap many long term benefits, but with any action compassion takes practice and consistency. This is why one must be willing and open to genuine compassion, or else the action is doomed from the start. Let’s say someone you know has lost their job amidst this economic downswing, our generic reaction to give them condolences and asking if they’re doing “okay”. Here, our attempt at compassion instantly fails, because the approach is from the top-down and beside them. Instead of offering them condolences, offer them help when (not if) it ever becomes necessary; and instead of asking if they’re “okay”, provide them with a safeguard that you are walking beside them during this storm. This is how you share suffering through the means of actioned compassion.
Empathy is vital in community, but our society throughout generations has attempted to construct who deserves empathy. Compassion ought to be boundless and does not understand discrimination, injustice, or hierarchy. Compassion can dissipate with tensions that involve racial, religious, or socioeconomic difference. The instinct typically exercised in these conflicts lead to three actions: refute, refuse, or retreat which all act against compassion. When you have that confrontation with an older person of a different skin color, ask them about their day as opposed to fueling their ignorance. Offer the person shares a different ideology than you the same love and generosity that you would a family member, not allowing them to demean you based on your belief system. Lastly, it’s okay to feel skeptical about giving money to that homeless individual, instead offer them an encouraging conversation or a gesture that holds more value than a dollar.
Let it not be untold, compassion for yourself is also critical to prolonged health. Many times, our insecurities and shortcomings contrive from us being our biggest critic. Do not allow refutation, refusal, or retreat to stop you. Exercise self compassion through meditation, reading, consulting others when you feel subjective, or even simply smiling. While uncomfortable, practicing these types of exercises in moments of self conflict will terminate anxiety in the long term.